Paradigm Shift

In 1962, Thomas Kuhn wrote The Structure of Scientific Revolution, popularizing the concept of "paradigm shift" (p.10). Kuhn argues scientific advancement is not evolutionary, rather it is a "series of peaceful interludes punctuated by intellectually violent revolutions", and in those revolutions "one conceptual world view is replaced by another". 


The past couple of posts have included a bit of hurt and pain. It is understandable in the face of disclosures.  The truth is, I don't want to fight over things. There is only one thing worth fighting for -- and that is something I wouldn't have to fight for.

My faith in my Father in Heaven and my testimony in his restored gospel. 

As I walk around my home looking at the pieces of me, I have to ask myself, can I live without that? I have a piano that is barely movable without the assistance of one strong dude. Can I live without that?  It is part of my inheritance. I was gifted my grandmother's baby grand piano in 1997. I hauled in from my home in Utah to Virginia. I paid to have it professionally packaged and secured. When I got to Norfolk, it was obvious it was going to have to stay in storage for a while longer. I couldn't bear it under the humid circumstances that it was stored it. I called an antique piano refinisher and struck a deal.  I traded my antique baby grand in for a brand new upright. It wasn't the best deal, but it was better than what I was currently dealing with.  That piano has been 4 different homes since that deal was finalized. 

There are other pieces of furniture from various family members, a brand new dining room table. There are books and knicknacks that make up a life I've lived now many years. There are several sets of china that came from Japan when my father was stationed there that I also inherited. 

As I look around though, I can't see a single thing that is worth fighting over to the point of losing myself in the process.  I can't see where I would gain destroying the man I have spent more of my life with than my childhood family.

Where does this leave me?





I don't know. The limbo between filing for divorce is difficult. 
I want to leave next week, but I know I can't.
I want to never see H's face again, but I know I will. 



  

I wish it was as easy as a click on my keyboard 

or 

 


making a directional turn down a different road.


The truth is...

It's more like this.....

And a huge change it attitude




which is easily upset by one little text from H
....or H bringing D home later than expected
....or a bad night's sleep complete with horrible dream of what my future could look like
....or a comment from someone that wasn't mean to throw me smack dab back in trauma
....or breathing in and out just trying to get through the next moment
....