What Do You Do When an Addict Says He's Not an Addict?

I've been wanting to write a follow-up post from last week for days now.  I wanted to write how everything went so well when H and I talked.  I wanted to say that we resolved the issues.  I wanted to write how sharing my thoughts and feelings in that letter was so beneficial for both H and I.  I wanted to say how risking and being vulnerable was so worth it.

I can't write that post.
I can't write that post even though H and I did talk.
I can't write that post even though -- for a few hours -- things were OK between us.

I can't write that because as it turns out -- that talk turned into another talk that went something like this:


"I don't have a sexual addiction.

I'm addicted to anger"


He has what?

(insert deer in the headlight look here)



Ok, anger addiction?

So I googled anger addiction to see if I could make any sense of what H is thinking.
I googled it to see if it explained what I've been living with these past years.



The truth of the matter is -- no matter what H calls 'it'


It still happened to me.

I still suffer daily from betrayal trauma.

I still have daily triggers by his presence and by the things that he says and does.

Does it matter what addiction H has?

To H maybe.


Right now...I'm just sick all over again.