New Knowledge = More Processing

I attended a webinar  by Dr. Kevin Skinner of Addo Recovery.  It was an excellent meeting.  I took a lot of notes because the topic is something that I have been struggling with a lot since the last big D-day in 2011.

Dr. Skinner was teaching us today on a topic he refers to as "Psychological Intimacy.''  He showed us charts and graphs from all the data he has collected over the years from both men and women on the effects sexual addiction has on intimacy.

I'm anxious to get the slides from his powerpoint so that I can review them in detail as I process through this.


At the end of the webinar Dr. Skinner opened up a Q/A session for questions posed during the meeting.  I was grateful answered my question last, just as he was closing the meeting.

My question was this:  "When love is damaged by trauma, what first steps can I take to help recognize (and accept) love again?"

Here are his recommendations:

"You are an loving being"
"You have a right to feel your pain"
" The way you may have acted is not who you are as a person"
"Look internally to feel recovered"
"Start there -- regardless of whether your your spouse joins you in recovery or not"
"You will be stronger taking care of your recovery"

Each of these points listed above speak to me.  The are the goals I have been trying to accomplish these past three years.  It hasn't been an easy process, but I can see so much personal growth from it.

For so many years I had this all backwards.  For some mistaken reason I believed that I wouldn't heal or progress without my husband.  I'm so glad I was wrong on this.  I'm even more grateful for wise counselors who have helped validate why the path I'm on now was so very necessary.