I remember (sometimes embarrassingly so when I think too long about this experience) telling those women sitting in that room, that I longed for a trail that was visible to the world. I thought a broken leg or maybe cancer would be better than what I was dealing with alone that day.
To not be seen is one of life's greatest pains.
I wanted to be seen -- and heard -- that Sunday morning.
He knows your heart
He knows your pain
He knows the strength it took just too simply breathe today
He sees the tears that you cry
He knows your soul is aching to know why
He hears your prayers each humble word
When you said you couldn't face another day he understood
He knows the path that you will find
Though you felt alone he's never left your side
Chorus:
He knew there'd be moments when no earthly words
Could take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
He'll bring you peace and leave you hope
And in the darkest night he'll comfort you
Until you know the sun will rise and each new day
You will have the strength to live again
Chorus:
And in those moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
He hears you when you're crying in the night
He hears you when your soul longs to find
Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures
Chorus:
That in the moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
~ Hillary Weeks
No one said a word to me at the meeting's end.
It was ok.
I didn't need those women to see me.
In that moment, I knew God saw me.
I knew He always did -- he always would.
There are so many time through out this life, I have wanted people to see me, to feel with me, to make space in a few moments of their day for me.
It is such a beautiful gift we give one another to truly see them.
What I didn't see that Sunday morning, in the sharing of my pain, is that I would need that experience to recognize that need in other women. To learn that others, like me, have pain the world cannot see.
One day, God would put those women in my life to sit with.
I would see them.
I would make space for them.
I would sit with their pain.
I would honor them for their strength.
I would love them -- even more -- for allowing me the gift of seeing them.
"Life carves a holding place in our hearts" (Wilcox, 2009) from which God will use us as His hands, to bless others; to help Him reach across the chasms of His world and ours to feel him -- and trust him.
That day, He filled the empty space in me with an awareness I could later use to help others.
We are not invisible.
God sees us.
He shows himself to us through the love of charity of his other children.
