It's what I do.
It was general conference weekend, and Easter and a reminder of a horrible disclosure all rolled in to one.
I hate these reminder days. They have become points on the calendar to mark time. I've stared using the dates in passwords. It just how my life rolls now.
I don't think H even had a clue we'd past this milestone. Although....he can tell you every date, place, and time his band played, every navy accomplishment, everything about his daughter from his first marriage.
This one fact is the why life with an addict is a very lonely life.
It's not like it would be the day to rub his nose in his past crimes, but is it that selfish of me to want him to reach out and say something like: "hey, I know this was a rough year. Thanks for sticking it out with me" ?
and this is why I write...
............because wounds nead air in order to heal.
I am right there with you! Spring conference weekend is one of my d days also. And when ever the topic of this addiction comes up, my H diminishes it and is genuinely shocked that it's STILL an issue for me, or our family, or even that I would consider it to be the most important issue to address in our lives. Sigh. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Allie Maude. It makes it all that more hurtful to have them say it shouldn't still be an issue. It's an issue however long it takes to heal from. Prayers and hugs for you.
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