My Unconventional Piece of Healing

Some times the trial and recovery of betrayal trauma requires a physical response.  I can read all the recovery books I can get my hands on, and while that gives me an explanation I can sink my teeth in.  

It doesn't do this!

(yeah, I can sing a little too much Carrie Underwood about now….)

  

Don't judge me if I've watched this video a few too many times too….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8#t=16

I don't' recommend being violent or destructive.  

I don't recommend retaliation either.  

The pain of betrayal can cause a person to do something like this:

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…"
  (credit - http://bigfrog104.com/scorned-woman-has-ex-husband-sale-photos/)

I recommend a healthy way of venting.

I've heard of plate smashing parties...

Bonfires for particular items….

Whatever it takes -- done in a healthy way -- I'm all for it.  If it helps purge out the negative emotions.

This was my chosen course of action…

Wait…..

   No!  I didn't use it on him…..

I used it on a particular item in our home H was living in during the separation.

H was there with me.

I stabbed it like it was her    them     him.  

I stabbed all the anger.  All the hurt.  All the betrayal.  All the addiction.

I felt it.  
And then I let it go.

I know it doesn't change anything.

I know it doesn't' take away what it really is.

So, maybe its stupid thing to do?

Or maybe not.

Like I said in the beginning, some times this kind of healing needs an a physical response.  

All these pictures aside, I do know -- all the restitution we really need does come from the Lord.  I know this, I blogged about that here (http://withintheheartofme.blogspot.com/2014/03/forgiveness.html) 

It can be difficult to feel that or believe that in the middle of all of the pain.   

This favorite quote of mine helps me keep this sometimes wayward emotion in check:

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

― Mark Twain

Recognize that anger as a valid part of the recovery process.  However, it is easy to get lost in it, mired in it even.  Until like Mark Twain said, more harm is done to the one carrying the anger than the one the anger is aimed at.  

With these two truths in mind...

and in a constructive, healing way, with H,  we had our own little purging/venting/smashing party.  We let our own individual pain pull us together and help us begin to trust and own and heal.    It helped us.  It connected us.