Stuck

Stuck!

It's a word my therapist and I discuss all the time.
It's full of lies.
Mine.
H's.

and sometimes I think God's....but only because I don't understand and know what he knows.



For the past 7 weeks I have been buried in a class that has buried me emotionally. At the same time, I am in conflict with this class and my real life. 

Thanks Marriage 300.  

I'm reading this book:


 


It is amazing!  unless your husband is an addict.


And this book:

 

 This is amazing times.10  unless your husband doesn't want to be married to you.



 
 How long has it been since I started writing here about divorce and separation?
 It's kind of a theme, huh?

Please, know, it is far from desire. 
I hate the idea.
I hate what a divorce will mean for me at this point in my life.
I hate what it will do for generations of my family yet to be.
I hate that it conflicts with every doctrine and principle of marriage that I hold true.


It is as I said to H recently, I cannot heal a marriage by myself.  A marriage is by nature a party of two. Repairing, restoring, healing, fixing, all the broken pieces of addiction and deception cannot be accomplished solely by me.




 


 To read about my puzzle follow this link. It is a blog post I wrote for my marriage class. then if you'd like, come back and tell me what you think.


My blog post
 

I'm still trying to make sense of where I am -- and my therapist is out of town for another week.

Hence....

STUCK!