A Tragic Loss

It was supposed to be such a joyous time for the family.
Grand babies are supposed to bring excitement into the world with them.

This time it is not to be.


I'm so mad!
The hurt.  Oh how this hurts!

His name is Hunter Collin.

He tried so hard to come into this world, but it was not to be.

Born  10:10 PM January 14, 2016
Time of Death: 10:45 January 14, 2016


We are supposed to be celebrating.
We're supposed to be happy.

And now..

We are just numb and hurting and crying and asking why.....


The rains descended as I left the hospital Friday morning after sitting all night holding my grief stricken children.

I went home to shower and get a few things for them.
I needed to shower to hide my tears.


Friday was bitterly cold.
The wind bit through me as I walked back inside the hospital to face this tragedy.
I didn't care.
I hurt already.

Today the sun was out.
It was cold, but the sun still beckoned -- calling on our faith and hope.

I'm working on that.

Tomorrow is the Sabbath.
I'll go to church with my box of tissue.
People will talk to me that never do.
I'll try not to let that anger me.
I'll try to ignore the things they say that come out wrong. The mean well.
I'll try to smile, but mostly I will just cry.

I've been in this place before with my own son and 5 other babies that were not meant to be.
Children that you long 9 months for --

-- but do not come home with you.


There is nothing worse!