The Law of Chastity - A Lesson in Relief Society

For the past month, I have been stressing and stewing over a presentation I gave in my local women's meeting at church.  I stressed over how to present the topic. I stew over an applicable and non-shaming object lesson.  I invited the bishop (the pastor of my congregation) even to share his thoughts.  I prayed -- countless times. I read as much supportive material as I could get my hands on. No  matter how prepared I was, there was no ease in the worry that topic of this lesson would cause those in the room to squirm in their seats, or even one or two to escape to the hallway in avoidance.  

Why is a discussion on chastity and morality so difficult to engage in? 

Why can't we talk to one another without the embarrassment or shame that comes with a discussion on this topic?

Today, I am grateful to be on this side of that stress. I'm relieved to have that lesson behind me.  Most importantly, I am grateful for that the Spirit of the Lord attended me and touched hearts.  I am still receiving texts or email from women in the congregation thanking me for the lesson.  I know it wasn't me that delivered the message to their hearts. I know the impressions they act on today because of what was discussed happened only because they were willing to invite the Spirit into their hearts to be teachable.

...ok..it did help some that I had some pretty incredible statistics to read to them..

Here are a few of the points I want to remember and have to refer to:

From President Ezra Taft Benson:

 1. Traveling widely as a religious and political leader, President Ezra Taft Benson was keenly aware of the steady moral decline throughout the world, especially with regard to the law of chastity. He took a strong stand against this decline, teaching that “the law of chastity is a principle of eternal significance.” He declared that “in the Church and kingdom of God, chastity will never be out-of-date, regardless of what the world may do or say.” He further taught: “We must be in the amoral and immoral world, … but not of it. We must be able to drop off to sleep at night without having to first sing lullabies to our conscience.

2.  

The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph said, would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other.

Sexual immorality is a viper that is striking not only in the world, but in the Church today. Not to admit it is to be dangerously complacent or is like putting one’s head in the sand. In the category of crimes, only murder and denying the Holy Ghost come ahead of illicit sexual relations, which we call fornication when it involves an unmarried person, or the graver sin of adultery when it involves one who is married. I know the laws of the land do not consider unchastity as serious as God does, nor punish as severely as God does, but that does not change its abominableness. In the eyes of God there is but one moral standard for men and women. In the eyes of God chastity will never be out of date. …

No sin is causing the loss of the Spirit of the Lord among our people more today than sexual promiscuity. It is causing our people to stumble, damning their growth, darkening their spiritual powers, and making them subject to other sins.

3. Most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, and fulfillment.

From President Gordon B. Hinckley:

"I recently read that pornography has become a $57 billion industry worldwide. Twelve billion of this is derived in the United States by evil and “conspiring men” (see D&C 89:4 ) who seek riches at the expense of the gullible. It is reported that it produces more revenue in the United States than the “combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises or the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC” (“Internet Pornography Statistics: 2003,” Internet, http://www.healthymind.com/5-port-stats.html).

It robs the workplace of the time and talents of employees. “20% of men admit accessing pornography at work. 13% of women [do so]. … 10% of adults admit having internet sexual addiction” (“Internet Pornography Statistics: 2003”). That is their admission, but actually the number may be much higher." (Gordon B. Hinckley, October 2004 General Conference)

From https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/09/healing-hidden-wounds?lang=eng

In the great battle for the city of Cumeni, Helaman tells of his 2,060 stripling warriors who “fought most desperately” against their enemies (Alma 57:19). While “there was not one soul of them who did perish” in that battle, “neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds” (Alma 57:25). Many of these teenage soldiers were so terribly wounded that they fainted from the loss of blood.

These young warriors fought a battle that their parents could not fight for them, and they fought it because their society had been attacked. A similarly disastrous war rages among modern teenagers, for similar reasons. Today’s parents can no more fight the spiritual battles for their youth than the people of Ammon could. But they can learn to recognize the spiritual wounds this war inflicts and arm their children with the knowledge and resources they will need to survive.

Some studies show that close to one hundred percent of today’s teenagers will be exposed to pornography by the time they graduate from high school, and most of those exposures occur on the Internet while the child is doing homework.¹ As of 2008, an estimated 9 out of 10 young men and nearly one-third of young women reported using pornography.² The average age of exposure and addiction are the same: 11 years old.

These are just a few of the ones I used for this class.  One of the motivating factors in this opportunity for me comes from the instructions given in step 12 of most 12-step programs.  That of, sharing this message.  It isn't always a voice of hope that is needed. Sometimes the warning needs shouted. When a voice of warning is needed and the opportunity presents itself -- I raise the red flag. 

Yesterday I had the chance to open a door in my church circles to talk openly and honestly about this plague. I talked about my 12-step groups for support for family members.  I talked about resources for children and what to do in homes so that children have a safe place to go when they confront pornography.  I didn't tell my story or say a single word about my husband.  I didn't have to.  It is, unfortunately, touching too many lives for it to be hidden any more.